LEGACY SERIES: Pizza Delivery Part II

CUSTOMER OF THE WEEK: SETI Man

In a dark and dreary corner of the city, I delivered a pizza to the door of a gentleman with a missing front tooth, an unruly mop of hair, and eyes that gave the impression that no one was home. Think C.S. Lewis' Uncle Andrew from The Magician’s Nephew.

As he paid for the pizza, he began to regale me with tales of his involvement with SETI: the Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence. As evidence, he pointed to some graphs on his computer’s monitor. “Searching the noise of deep space for intelligent patterns,” he said.

I expressed wholehearted agreement, and then beat a hasty retreat.

Mr. SETI Man, I salute you and all your freaky kind.

LEGACY SERIES: Pizza Delivery (1 of 4)

Some years ago, in the interest of fending off starvation, I found it necessary to deliver pizzas for a few months. It was actually kind of fun, and I made some interesting observations along the way. Here you go...
Pizza Delivery Driver, Segment 1

Ok, so I deliver pizzas now.

Yeah, that's what I said, too.

No, that's not me in the picture. Just a random pizza guy.

ART'S ADVICE

Tuesday was my first day. My trainer is a guy named Art (as in "work of"). Art gave me some pizza delivery survival tips:
1. If the store manager smells a little like Mary Jane sometimes, don't say anything. It helps mellow him out a little. Apparently, he needs it.
2. It's ok to entice the Dominoes delivery drivers into a street racing duel. It's called company spirit.
3. Cops generally look the other way if you're speeding and you have a pizza sign on your car. This comes in handy when street racing the Dominoes guys.
4. If I get mugged, don't try to be a hero. Just give 'em the money or the pizza or whatever they want. Cops look the other way for muggers, too.

OBSERVATIONS

So far, I've made the following observations:
1. The further the drive, the smaller the tip.
2. Old people tip well.
3. Young people are horrible tippers. I'm a youth pastor, and I love youth. But when I'm delivering pizzas, I hate them.
4. When arriving at a confusing apartment complex, the neighborhood kids are the best guides--AFTER I succeed in explaining to them that, no, the pizza is not for them.

EXPERIENCES

Today, as I drove to deliver at an unfamiliar apartment complex, I passed some cholos in a 7-11 parking lot. For some reason, the four of them suddenly stared at me as if I had just used their mom in a fat joke. They piled into a burgundy pickup truck and followed me two miles.

I drove around until I lost them, and then proceeded to make my delivery.

Maybe they just liked the smell of pizza.

Oh So Jealous!

Oh, what I would have given to accompany uncle Cliff and his nephew Joel Ebersole on this journey from the middle of North America to the heart of South America!

Nonprofit organization Wings of Hope had attempted more than once to donate a small airplane to my uncle's mission in Paraguay, which supports an outreach among a tribal group in the interior of the country. However, until now, Wings of Hope lacked a volunteer pilot to ferry the airplane from St. Louis, MO, to Asuncion, Paraguay--roughly a 5,500 mile odyssey for whomever might attempt it.

Well, finally, uncle Clifford--an instrument rated pilot--negotiated schedules with his nephew Joel Ebersole--a seasoned missionary pilot and licensed aviation mechanic who serves with Asas do Socorro, and who lives with his family in Anapolis, Brazil--and the two of them showed up in St. Louis to ferry the donated Cessna 175 Skylark.

So far, they have navigated the 52-year-old airplane from St. Luis, to Ft. Lauderdale, FL, to Stella Maris, Bahamas (where they enjoyed a week-long layover as they awaited a replacement part for a bad magneto--a sort of alternator used in small airplanes), to the Dominican Republic, to Puerto Rico, to Martinique, to Trinidad, to Guyana, and lastly to Boa Vista, Brazil. They must still cross the vast Amazon basin and the southern Brazilian highlands before reaching and crossing Paraguay. Many people are tracking them by satellite.

It has been an adventure of mechanics, navigation, endurance, beautiful vistas, and ornery customs agents. It's an amazing trip with a great cause, and we keep them in our prayers.